I got to reading some old posts and could not resist posting this again for those who have joined our blog only recently. Hope it gets you laughing and makes you feel a bit more normal!!!
Royalty House Rules
1. When Mom naps, we play the "we are petrified pieces of wood" game. 600 square feet leaves no room for noise when Mom is trying to take a nap.
2. One person talks at the dinner table at a time. We do not believe in speaking in tongues, nor interpreting them.
3. Saying "I don't like this" gets you an extra helping of whatever does not catch your fancy.
4. Telling the truth will get you out of many a pickle, and might get you elected to Congress.
5. What Dad says, Mom says, and vice versa. If we catch you tryin the ole' switch-er-oo, your name is mud man, mud.
6. We do not describe Mom using any animal characteristics.
7. We read "Mom's are Marvelous" every time we find it. Finding it is as follows: We find the book, gather and sit no matter where we are or WHAT we are doing, and read it completely through with no interruptions. So what if Mother's Day is months away.
8. Fun comes after chores. I tried the Mary Poppins adage, "In every element of fun there is a job that must be done.." and yeah that didn't work. So chores aren't fun. Do them then have fun.
9. We do not explain what kind of bugs the pitcher plant eats to help our existence at any time of the day.......nausea is instantaneous.
10. By 3 1/2 you are on your own in the restroom. Toilet paper is cheap. Find it and do whatever works for ya.
11. The questions, "Are we there yet?" "What are we having for dinner?" and "Why do I have to do this?" are tolerable the first 3 times...... after that we take 5 cents from your inheritance each repetition. AND when Mom is getting dressed and putting make-up on after noon, the question "Where are we going, Mom?" can make you disinherited all together.
12. When you hear "So-and-so-is-here!" assume emergency stations. Mom will be tripping on her robe as she flies to her room to dress, while you are left to shove as many things as you can under the couch.....dishes included.
13. You are allowed one or two good hearty laughs at an unexpected bodily function, whether yours or not. After that it is just poor manners.
14. You can hide wherever you like so long as you can unwedge yourself when you need to exit.
15. Every outfit without visible food on it is wearable for a two day stretch, then washed.
16. Laugh often, love much and munch much. Wonderful motto.