Monday, July 27, 2009

My So Bloggable Life

My life consists of spurts of hilarity and frustration these days, it really does! And yesterday I found myself saying a dozen times, "This is SO bloggable." When I relayed the days events to my husband he laughed heartily and agreed so here we be.

I received a call from a Dr. in the NICU telling me that Alayna though scheduled to come home THAT DAY had several heart alarms, some with feedings, most with feedings actually, and some without. She wanted me to come and stay the night in one of the rooms they have for Nursing Moms (why did I capitalize Nursing??? Hmm guess it makes me feel important. I digress...) and see if it is the flow of the bottle that is causing problems.

So, I got ready and headed up to the hospital. I was not discouraged, rather steadfast in my relentlessness to get Alayna home. As I got ready at home I even walked around the house with a clenched jaw and furrowed brow.......... as if someone was going to see me and remark on my great determination????? Yeah, well I told you my life was hilariously bloggable.

I then at the hospital went to grab lunch while Alayna still slept. Now in my 6 hospital stays I have never gone to the cafeteria. I didn't even know what floor it was on to tell you the truth! Hey they bring ME the food. So, this was a FIRST. I look like a lost little girl with my coke bottle glasses thanks to a ripped contact. Seriously I could have at any moment used my glasses and the ray coming through the window to char broil anything in the cafeteria. I get a Dunkin' Donuts coffee and look around hoping no one notices just how many creams I add. I add to the coffee a hamburger and a granola bar. There you have it, the lunch of champions. It is sadly all about comfort foods these days. When I got back up to the NICU, the nurse assigned to Alayna showed me my "Suite" for the night. WOW. Ok, a large curtain to shield you from the nurses taking lunch, a shared bathroom whith whomever else had to be there like me, a T.V that would not turn off..... the nurse just smiled and said, "Well at least you can turn the volume down!" Ha ha...wha??? A clock that did not work, which I ended up climbing the wall to get down to switch with the other room's clock which DID work. Uh sorry room #2.....first come first serve! Then to the BED....... It is really a masterpiece, really. It looks like half the width of a couch with no arms and has a handle on top which you pull down and WHALAH your bed. Well beggers could not be choosers I guess in this scenario.

I decided to get out and get some fresh air a bit and remembered that there was a Taco Bell nearby. So after a feeding I headed out for parts unknown. I ordered my food and decided to eat outside and enjoy the day. I ate and noticed seriously 11 sparrows congregating around me. It was so a "Mary Poppins feed the birds" moment. I ate and threw them part of my food and was thoroughly enjoying myself....WHEN a man who was apparently a regular "fitness walker" came up and sat at the table next to me. Hmmm, he seems nice enough. Nicely dressed, well kept. I turned my internal radar off and smiled and said "Hello." Being the friendly person I am, I remarked about the 7 sparrows we then had around us. He looked me dead in the eye and said, "Seven...that's God's number." RADAR ON...eating faster.... "Yes, I guess it is, I reply," then noticing he was missing a few key teeth. My mind was thinking, "Ok this can only go down from here.." He continues to inform me that we are in the "Last days, and no one wants to really talk about it anymore." EATING AT WARP SPEED, making NO eye contact.... I decide to get up and gave him a tract telling him that if God cares when one sparrow falls surely He cares for him and go inside. He follows. I ask for a bag to take my food with me and skeedattle. Last I saw him he was grabbing way too many hot sauce packets.......

THEN I decide to give Youngstown's Northside another try and stop at a run down gas station to grab some snacks for later that night, since the vending machines at the hospital are soo expensive. I walk in, grab my snacks and totally make myself NOT wonder just how long these particular items have been on the shelf. I am in line to pay when I hear this conversation behind me. "Hey man, how you doin'? You outta trouble now?" The other man, smelling of alcohol and apparently suffering from some form of amnesia responds with, "Man what you talkin about, I ain't never been in no trouble!" The friend apparently taken back by this new revelation says, "Ok man, if you wanna play it that way, logistics, ok man, I got you." Hmmm... As soon as the man in front of me got his 5 lottery tickets and new red t-shirt I was srammin' back to the car once again. On my way to the van the Holy Spirit reminded me that the Lord loves these people too. I agreed and said Hello to yet another man sticking his head out of some car window. When he KEPT saying "Hello," I decided that God loves them, I love them, and I love being safe and smiled to him as I hit the power locks.


I proceeded to spend a total of 24 hours straight in the hospital NICU waking up all through the night to feed Alayna. No problem, I am working towards getting her home. I DID have a problem with the Dr. this morning telling me "It will be a few more days until we can get her ready to go home." All that time and it didn't speed her homecoming. She asked me, with my crumpled slept in clothes, hair everywhere and teeth that were crying out for a toothbrush, if I understood what she had told me. I looked at her with all the graciousness I could muster and replied, "Yes, unfortunately I understand everything you have said." Yeah, Ok so I am no one to trifle with when I have less than 4 hours of sleep under my belt.

She smiled and told me I was more than welcome to use one of their "special" rooms again. "Yeah special as in "special olympics." I thought, and smiled in return. No......home for me tonight. At least until I can muster enough sleep to bring me back from Night of the Zombies.

P.S. As I finish this, my husband comes in carrying our potty-training daughter explaining to me that she went stinky in the driveway and how her slightly older brother got "into it." Yep. It's a hilariously good life we have here on Haywood. And it is totally bloggable.

1 comment:

  1. Mrs. Royalty, I am delighted to heat that you ate at Taco Bell, and I am not sure that I would have had the courage that you do to go to a gas station by myself in that area. I am not sure that I would have gone to Taco Bell by myself. But, I wanted you to know how much of an encouragement you are to me. I pray one day to have the strength that you do.

    Love Always,
    Clara Marie

    p.s. I thought of one more funny story to add to the list that I gave you. I will need Abby's help with it... ask her to imitate my laugh. It is only my funny laugh though, I promise I do not actually laugh like this... but I hope that you get a laugh out of it!!