Who in their right mind likes loose ends???? Not I. And lately there they are each way we look. As of right now we are in the process of looking for a new vehicle as ours cannot hold 6 children. Well let me rephrase that, we cannot legally hold 6 kiddos.... So last week suddenly we followed a lead on a van and traveled and hour only to come home empty handed because the woman selling the van was on vacation! And this gets a bit complicated because there is a teenager wanting to purchase ours as soon as we can find another vehicle, so that adds a bit of stress to the mix!
Of course on our minds continually is Alayna. So many questions...and "When will she come home?" is at the top of the list. A huge loose end for us.
We are also looking for a new car seat as ours has fought the "mob" and the "mob" won if you get my drift. Now this is not a HUGE deal. I have postponed it partially for financial reasons and partially because this is my last little bundle of joy and I want to pick out something adorably feminine. Again though a loose end. We cannot bring Alayna home without something to put her in!
Loose end numero quatro......Well most of you who know us, know that we have been house-hunting literally for YEARS now. Our two bedroom 600 sq. foot house is busting at the seams. I am beginning to wonder if the neighbors are starting to look at me as "The Old Woman who lived in a shoe..." We have made it work, and doubled up beds and such and have thoroughly enjoyed our huge yard despite our tiny house, and all the while have been pleading with the Lord to give us a house. In my Bible above Psalm 77 I have the date, 12/2/06 and these words....."waiting on God for a house." I told you it has been a matter of prayer for a while! I had walked through a house that day, a house we would gladly fit in with much room to spare, but financially it would have had to have been a miracle to get us in it. I told this Realtor woman that if "God wanted us to have that house, HE would give it to us." I am still unsure if I thought my enormous faith would knock a few thousand dollars off the price, or make the woman break into tears and give us the house quoting, "freely thou hast been given, freely give," B-U-T neither worked and I came home in tears and sat down on Haywood and read this chapter. It has been a comfort ever since.
Here enters Mr. Habeeb. At the corner of our street is a little store. A store that has been vacant for a year or so, that some ethnic men have suddenly transformed and are re-opening soon. Joel does pavement sealing on the side, and offered them a quote to seal their parking lot. Well I guess Mr. Habeeb also asked Joel if there were any houses to rent on this street and Joel mentioned that we would eventually like to move. This sparked his interest and lo and behold guess who showed up today!??
I had taken Caleb to the doctor and by the time I got home I was exhausted. It doesn't take much lately.. and Caleb, Anna and I were laying down for a nap. We hear this pounding at the front door, which we do not use. I ignore it...I am way too tired and usually people knocking at the FRONT door means they do not know us.... the dog goes crazy waking Anna up crying. Then there is pounding at the back door! "Ok this salesman must be desperate," I think. THEN a loud ethnic "HEYYYYLLLOOW????" Ok Mister I am up and coming! I get to the door, crack it open and behold Mr. Habeeb and what apparently is his wife. I stare at him with a "This better be good buddy" look. His first words out of his mouth are, "WHEN YOU GONNA MOVE????" I then gave him a look that I cannot even find words to describe. He apparently notices I just got up. Unfortunately he lacks discretion and KEEPS talking......"I see you sleepy or someting. I talk to Joil, he say he come do parking lot. (He then holds up his cell phone) I call Joil, leave message." At this time I am praying whatever sense of humor I have left kicks in before my mouth catches up to my brain...
I finally find something to say. "My husband will be home after 5, you will have to talk to him. I recently had surgery and I am going to lay down." He mumbled something and began to walk away. His wife finally says, "Heylo." She was most likely trying to think of the one English word she knew, and AHA there it was. Good for her!
Joel DID come home and speak with Mr. Habeeb who apparently told Joel he wanted to look through my house tomorrow.....! Joel thought it might not be a bad idea?? I then looked at JOIL....and gave HIM a "who are you and what have you done with my husband?" look. The thought of Mr. Habeeb coming through MY HOUSE, the only little piece of security I have on God's green earth, and telling me something he did not like or would change would probably be enough to make me speak his language and bite his ankles off entirely. Enough said. I have Joel's word that in my present state of too many loose ends, Mr. Habeeb will not get in this house, though today several times I have looked at him sideways just to see if he is serious and indeed he is. Deep down he knows what I could do to Mr. Habeeb. A Mother separated from her young is no one to be trifled with.
So......on the way home from getting the kiddos my loose ends began to feel like a noose around my neck. I asked Joel to take the long way home, passing by that house I afore mentioned, "just to see" if for some angelic reason it was for sale and was screaming our name. When we didn't turn to go home one of the boys said to the other, "Where we goin'?" One answered, "We're goin' to look for a car so we can take Alayna home." "No," answered another, "We're lookin' for a house to live in!" The wonderful thing about all of this is that Joel knew why I wanted to drive past the house on Kennedy road. I didn't even have to explain. He knows that house to me represents so much hope and faith in the Lord, so much prayer and expectation as we wait on Him. And we drove by it. Before we even approached it the Holy Spirit spoke so clearly to me that it brought instant tears, "Girl don't you know that I want to open the windows of heaven and pour you out a blessing so great that you cannot even receive it??" Yet the moment my eyes caught sight of the house the verse, Pr 13:12 "Hope deferred maketh the heart sick:" came to mind. It wasn't until I got home and looked that verse up that I noticed the end of that verse........"BUT when the desire cometh, it is a tree of life." I am waiting for that desire to be accomplished. I love that the verse I thought was adding to my hopelesness was in fact the Holy Spirit reeling me in to see the "rest of the story," and be encouraged. I just love the Holy Spirit! (Yes I sound like a second grader but who cares!)
Is God good??? Most certainly. Are loose ends part of life? You bet your bottom dollar. Is waiting enjoyable? No way Jose. Will God's will be accomplished through all these things? Praise God yes. So we hold on, pray like fiends and wrap our hope around Phil. 4:19 "But my God shall supply all your need according to his riches in glory by Christ Jesus."