Saturday, January 31, 2009

Draw nigh to God and HE WILL draw nigh unto you...

In getting an inbox of emails from you all, I have been humbled, encouraged and simply awe struck by the scope of people peeking-in on our corner of the world. And now, though I am glad to hear from you all, it is also a curse to me because I now see all of your faces when I sit to try to write anything.... so forgive me as I pretend you all are not here for a few moments okay?

Today something so sweet happened that from the minute it transpired I KNEW I needed to share it with even one person who needs it. And I begin by saying that if you are spooked by someone telling you that the Holy Spirit himself spoke to them, by all means FIND ANOTHER THING TO READ AND PASS YOUR TIME........UM, NOW.

This week, as was stated earlier, has been one of the roughest, most emotional weeks I have had in a LONG time. Yes I am 11 1/2 weeks expectant, and I am sure that has some to do with it, but my Hubby hugged me tonight (well one of a zillion times today) and told me that this HAS INDEED BEEN A WEEK. So there, it is not ALL hormones.

Today was no exception. Now sometimes I am real funny....well most times, and sometimes I am real honest, but I hope that those of you who know me personally know that I am nothing if not "real." I don't think I could fake something if I wanted to. Today I was reminded that the Lord cares for me personally and will draw any man (or woman) to Himself. Just yesterday I told a friend of mine that I wanted to be reminded that the Lord was still there, still knew my struggles, knew where I live that we were almost out of peanut butter. The Lord in his great love and mercy answered my prayer today.

Today was the culmination of me being so "full" of everything else except the Lord Himself. (Calm down I am not Charismatic.....why on earth have we let them steal every phrase and feeling?) And today the Lord refused to let me go any further. Last night that friend encouraged me so greatly and had a sweet letter waiting for my reading first thing this morning. Actually she stayed up way too late to write me to make sure I had it in the morning for which I am forever grateful. I read the letter and then got on with getting the day started in a rush, forgoing my devotional time with the Lord (if you have never done that, again this is too much for your intelligence, there are other perfect blogs out there friends..) quite forgetting it frankly in the hustle and bustle of getting ready for a bus workers banquet today. But the Lord had been slighted and He was not about to let me get off easy.

I am at the church setting up. I am cold, hungry and no one to be trifled with friends. Then I am off, alone to run errands on one side of town, while Joel runs errands on the other. Right before pulling into my first stop a song is playing from my radio that sends my trodden down spirit soaring for a few minutes........I sit in the lot and enjoy it and let a tear trickle down my cheek. "Thank you Lord, you knew that is one of my favorite songs and I needed it." It was here that the loving Holy Spirit answered me the first time, "That comforted you for a time, but now the song is over...what will you do now?" I teared up and left to go into the store, possibly thinking that the gracious Holy Spirit would sit in the car and wait for me???? In the store the sales people were unmistakably kind, and the verse, "the goodness of the Lord leadeth thee to repentance..." (Romans 2:4) flashed into my mind. Well It was off to another store and again the sales people were the nicest I have had in a long time. Again the verse and the Lord telling me, "I can use anyone to draw someone to myself Deena."

I felt like Mary, pondering all these things in my heart, which was almost to the point of overflowing. Again another stop for banquet items and I, realizing that I had missed lunch thought about something that would make me feel great. I love, enjoy, get such satisfaction from eating out. I think any mother of lots of small kids does! So as I get to my treasured fast food stop to satisfy my hunger there is the Holy Spirit prodding again, "If you eat this you will hunger again, but I have meat to eat that ye know not of. " So I am standing in front of the cash register and shielding my eyes as I place my order so as to not let the teenager see me crying over my order! I walk out and begin to head back to the church. I reach for my purse looking for my phone to call my sweet sister Dawn. She can tell me anything and I can tell her anything and we still love each other and still like being together! I am upset because I want to talk to HER and left the phone at the church! Yep, you guessed it, the Holy Spirit again pleads with me, "Who else will you run to? What else will you fill yourself up with? Nothing will satisfy you, comfort you. " And then I remember a song I love to sing in church.....

"The World will try to satisfy, that longing in your soul,
You may search the wide world o'er but you'll be just as before.
You'll never find true satisfaction until you've found the Lord,
For only JESUS can satisfy your soul."

I have sung this song many times, from my heart pleading with whomever my eyes would meet in church to come to the Lord, and Now I am the one who needs to run to Him. I am now at the church and Hubby greets me. He knows me and knows that I am struggling. Not just struggling, but STRUGGLING and wrestling with something heavy. We let the kids run around like the hoodlums that they naturally are and find a room to sit alone and talk. I tell him, wearily what has transpired. I told him that I am so full of "noise," and when it is quiet and I can actually think all I want is more "noise" to console me. And the Lord has said all day to me, "Come unto ME, all ye that labour and are heavy laden, and I will give you rest." (Matthew 11:28) It doesn't say, "Come to the Internet..." or "Come to your favorite CD," or "Come watch your favorite movie," or even "Come call your bestest friend." It says "Come unto ME.......I will give you rest." And that is exactly what I needed..........much sought after REST. Hubby let me cry and cry and interrupt his banquet preparation and friends that means more than a dozen roses every Tuesday to me!

Made it through the banquet and home at long last and as soon as the kids were tucked in and Hubby had yet another errand to run, I headed to the basement. Here it gets all Charismatic so be forewarned! I knelt on a blanket, and burying my head in a pillow, cried out to the Lord. I felt like Jacob wrestling with the Lord telling him in my heart of hearts that I would not let Him go until He blessed me......until He was there meeting with me.

I have always been against people putting God "in a box." Our lives are so fast paced, we get food fast, instant messages, instant tax refunds directly deposited to our accounts.........we have no time to wait on God. We do our "ditty" pray, read, and then get going. I am no exception friends. I learned a great lesson today. Wait on God. Get with Him.........alone, for a long time. Psalm 27:14 says, "Wait on the Lord; be of good courage, and he shall strengthen thine heart; wait, I say, on the Lord." Do you get the significance of the commas????? No? well I will elaborate......wait (HEY YOU) I say (Yes YOU... DO IT!) on the Lord. Did that clarify? Don't want ya left in the dark on that one friends. I wept there on the basement floor with my rear end up in the air for a long time. I sang, I prayed, I thanked, truthfully I worshiped the Lord on the basement carpet. There I said it. I WORSHIPED. And I am not ashamed of it either. And no my singing did not include repeating "Our God is an awesome God." It was sweet and I hope as you read this you are jealous of me and want YOUR time with the Lord. He is jealous of you friends. He wants you all to Himself. What noise is in your life that is so deafening that it covers the voice of the Holy Spirit speaking to you??

My prayers are with you tonight. I wish you could see me, no not in the blue chair...I am still downstairs, with my raccoon eyes from my mascara running. My Husband came home, found me and loves me for deciding to spend more time with the Lord. Spend time with your "Husbands" this week.

P.S. For my sake, if you don't agree or have some odd, refrain. At least let me get to next week before you do!


  1. As I sit here having missed church this morning because of sick kiddos, your post was a welcomed message from the Lord. I often get frustrated with all the noise of our busy lives. I often put off that voice from the Holy Spirit thinking the dishes, laundry, or cherished shower can't wait since I actually have a few minutes to do them while the kids are napping . . . why do we do that?? Why do we, dare I say, avoid something that will change our whole day / attitude in an incredible way?? Thanks also for the reminder that there is no substitute for spending time with God -- I am so moved by Godly, Christian music and think I often use it as a pick-me-up. Well, a stinky diaper is calling. Thanks again for sharing!

  2. Awesome post, Deena. Thank you so much for sharing. It was a tremendous blessing and something that I needed to hear. Love ya!

  3. Excellent post, Deena. We all need more times like this. I have always thought that God's light shines brightest in the dark times. I guess the question is how long will we wait before we do it again? How long will we run before we wait? (I say WE because I mean WE!)