Tuesday, February 17, 2009

Blue Chair rememberances

Hello all, yes we are still public because hubby has all of your email addresses that I have to add to the computer! Well.....sometime today we will go private.

I had just finished my Bible reading and praying and the kids were bustling around me getting their assigned chores done. My blue chair just happens to sit near a window where beams of light come through and sprinkle my Bible pages. This is one of my favorite things. The sun shines in thin strips highlighting different verses as it covers the span of the Bible, and I instinctively read those verses highlighted by the sun first. Did you find your verse that you needed so desperately this morning that was highlighted by the Son?

As I looked to see what kind of day it would be weather-wise out the window and listened to the chatter of the older hoodlums I was reminded of a funny story that I thought you might enjoy. (As a side note we don't watch t.v so we don't know most of what is going on. Goodness gracious enough is going on inside this house! I could give you all a running news reel!! Anyway, I was saying that we have found the "look and see" method is just as accurate a weather surmising as the weather man that we have seen on t.v. in the past whom is wrong usually half of the time!)

This funny memory was recalled due to the older ones excitedly looking as each car passes our house HOPING against all hope that it is the UPS man. Dad had ordered them each a gift for keeping their devotional books in tip top shape, and being faithful to them. Sooo any day now the gifts should arrive and their enthusiasm makes ME turn to the window every now and again to see if it is indeed him coming to reward them.

Last year about this same time I was in a war friends. Yes, a war. It was a long waged kerfuffle (thank you Anne of Avonlea for that word which I have now claimed as my own.....seriously) between me a squirrel. Ok I hear you laughing....obviously you have never had a stare-down with a squirrel. I had bought several bird feeders last Summer as I found a good deal on them, had them stocked to the gills with food for my feathery friends. At times I felt like the old lady on Mary Poppins who was feeding the birds for "toppins a bag," inviting all the neighborhood to join me in taking care of them. (Yeah I didn't get out much then either..) WELL...we have several pine trees, like massive huge pine trees, in our yard which house, you guessed it, squirrels. I saw the "squirrel proof" bird feeders in the store, and at first thought them very discriminatory. "They gotta eat to, " I thought with possibly a new chorus of "Feed the squirrels......" in there also. I envisioned myself swinging in my homemade bed sheet hammock (THAT is another hilarious story for another time!) with them eating out of my hand. Oh how wrong I was...

The beautiful array of birds that we used to spot refused to come for awhile and I could not figure out why. The hummingbirds were even scarce. Hmmmmm only nasty black birds would visit us. Yes I know they are birds too, but call me mean, THEY are mean and scare all the other birds away, and I do not like them. Come to find out,they were the only species who would cohabitate with the killer squirrels in my yard! I was determined to get my yard back to the "bird sanctuary" that we once enjoyed. I became serious about watching when the squirrels came and figured that I could run outside and throw a stick at the base of the tree and they would leave and in a hurry.

Like anyone who knows me the squirrels even found out that my "bark" was worse than my "bite." So they kept coming and emptying my feeders and having parties with the crows. Grrrrrr I was fed up that they were fed up so I determined the next time I saw the squirrel ( it was usually just one) It was ME or HIM.

I was making breakfast with one eye on the stove and one on the kitchen window. Yes I CAN do that thanks to an inherited lazy eye. I can get that thing to just about wander anywhere. AND THERE HE CAME. In my robe and nightgown I grabbed the closest thing to me which happened to be the kid's plastic sword. Barefoot I bounded out the back door, eyes bulging, teeth clenched, and madder than a hornet. I slowly walk towards the tree headed for that squirrel. He stares at me, I stare at him and somewhere in the background I hear that familiar Western whistle from "The Good the Bad and The ugly." C'mon just imagine would ya? He doesn't flinch and neither do I. I raise my sword gleaming with the morning sun and begin to shout at the top of my lungs to this varmint. Yes they are members of the RODENT family. Like bad blooded cousins they are......

I am sounding kindov like, "Yougetouttahereyou-AHHHHHHHH" when that eye....the wandering one catches the brown uniform of a man coming slowly up my driveway. Um, it was the UPS man bringing me the vitamins I ordered. In my humiliation I could hardly speak when he evidently noticing my horror spoke for me. "You know I had a problem with squirrels too Mam." and he went on to explain what he did to keep them away from his feeders. My arm is still raised to strike like a scene out of Star Wars. I cannot remember the rest of what he said because after the first line I was just thinking that "This is happening to someone else, this is an out of body moment, this is.......going to be funny someday but not NOW." Somehow I got the box, smiled and wondered if anyone was in the bushes and going to send this into America's Funniest Videos so I could get enough money to buy a zillion squirrel proof feeders. And he is somewhere telling this story to all of his grand kids.

Today I will leave the squirrels alone. The UPS man's got enough on me.


  1. Ahh- the fond memories! Always good for a laugh. I love you Honey.


  2. I feel your pain. We don't have squirrels, but we have tons of black birds. I had bird feeders up everywhere the first year we moved in, and we all loved watching the many beautiful birds. One day we noticed a shadow fall on our big windows. We looked out to see the biggest swarm of black birds I have ever laid eyes on in my life. They landed on the house and it sounded like huge hail hitting the roof, and then defeaning sqwacking ensued. It was like some sort of nightmare. Ever since clouds of blackbirds come and feed all over our yard and field in the summer. We have a few brave robin couples and one growing sparrow family that stay safely ensconed in the tree right next to the house most of the time. I'm not brave enough to go out and face an army of blackbirds so they're probably here to stay. :(

  3. I am with Sherri! No squirrels BUT those BLACK BIRDS !!! UGH !!!! We cut way back on feeding until the black birds give up...then start again... We just don't feed if the black birds come! SO frustrating!!! Thanks for sharing...Wonder what the ups man told his family at supper that night ?!?!!?*grin*