Thursday, March 26, 2009

Indulge me in a little humor will you?

I am sitting in the blue chair still in my robe and yes it is past 1 in the afternoon. I am doing this because I am sore and cranky from having a tooth pulled yesterday. Now I know that many have gone through similar things, WORSE things....yes I am fully aware of it, and aware of the fact that the Lord knew all this was going to happen when I mockingly smiled at a woman at church who had her appendix removed with that, "Um I had mine explode and have weathered 5 C-sections.....this is nothing compared to MY strength" smile. So now as I am sore and sorely displeased that I even had to have the silly tooth removed I am realizing once again in my brief existence that the Lord DOES have a wonderful sense of humor.

When I got to the dentist's office I was feelin kinda pert. Had my nice maternity skirt on, my lip liner AND matching lip gloss.......Oh yeah I was the bomb. Then the dentist dropped Hiroshima right in my lap....................The tooth needed pulled?????? I then proceeded to give him that "What you talkin about Willis?" look. See I had just saved enough to get my down payment on my crown for the tooth that was overhauled with a root canal only months earlier. I would get the crown, be fine, life is good. But here I was hearing that the tooth had already cracked and could not be saved. And this whole scenario was some how attached to a large bag of Jalapeno crunchers that I enjoyed in these months leading up to this......see my life is so connected with food.

So I calmly and rationally acted as any 31 year old pregnant woman would. I shriveled up in my chair and put my hands over my mouth shrieking. (Ahem, well that is the truth funny as it is) I then regained composure and asked this sweet Indian dentist if he was SURE it was cracked way many more times than were embarrassing for a man in his profession of some Oh, 15 years of practice. I asked if I could call my husband, with a sheepish look as if it was my last phone call in jail or something. I called him partly because I wanted to make sure he was okay with the kids a little longer and mostly because I was pet-tri-fied. C'mon when was the last time you had a TOOTH.TAKEN.OUT.OF.YOUR.JAWBONE? Yeah I can see you all shaking.

I mean a root canal was ONE thing.....ripping the tooth out was quite another. I pictured myself smiling for future family pictures as the one relative from the Western Hemisphere if ya get my drift. Sooooo in they came and there I sat in the chair, stalwart, smiling and shaking as if I had Parkinson's. The nurse, er, I mean dental assistant, who is my new BFF, looked at me and told me she had better take my blood pressure! WHOA this is getting way too medical. Blood gonna take the tooth or dissect my brain???? Of course I calmly gave her my arm, she noted my blood pressure was fine, though high for me, but I was NOT tellin her that! Then came the numbing jell, the Novocaine and me reciting Psalm 23 in my head. Now we are in the midst of Scripture memory at our church, and I mention that because do you think that I could remember ANY of those verses at the time???? NOPE. Only Psalm 23 sticks with me in really stressful times. And I quickly mumble through the "yea though I walk through the valley of the shadow of DEATH part....." to the end.

Quicker than you can say "Methuselah" it was over. Seriously. And I was on my way half listening to my instructions because the voices in my head were cheering loudly, "We is alive!" "We is alive!!!" I think they said something about when to take the gauze out of my mouth....

I left feeling like a total red-neck, hole in my head and a wad in my cheek that made me look like I had lost my "Chew" container. Thus is life. So now I am half studying for a speaking engagement on Sat, and half trying to figure out how to eat a rice crispy square. All in all, life is humorous if you let it be. And you KNOW I will be smiling at that woman on Sunday. I will probably even help her open her hymnbook......

Laugh. It's good for your health.

Pr 17:22 A merry heart doeth good like a medicine: but a broken spirit drieth the bones.


  1. lol. I had a funny feeling I would find the rest of the story here. Thinking of you, Tammy
    P.S. I did not look like the "bomb" this morning in the emergency room with my painting outfit on, make-up leftover from Wednesday night long gone, and hair unbrushed.

  2. Ha ha! I'm sorry you had to part with your tooth though. That's no fun.

    Every time I go to the dentist they tell me that the tooth that had a root canal done on it 20 years ago (the one next to my left front tooth. Yep, it's gotta be right up front.) is like chalk, and that any day I'm going to take a bite of something and it's gonna break off. It's been three years since my last appointment, and it's still there, and seems strong enough to me. Needless to say, I won't be returning to that particular dentist. But, thanks to him I've had vivid nightmares about my teeth falling out at the most inopportune times ever since.

  3. This comment has been removed by the author.

  4. Tam, you have never looked "bedraggled." You are always the picture of sweetness. And Sherri, girl I have two words for you, "CROWN IT." Seriously! You do NOT want to lose that tooth. If it is not causing you any pain, now is the time to get a crown to save it. Once you have any pain it is too late, the tooth will have to go! Trust someone who can now whistle "Dixie" out of the right side of her mouth! :-D