Tuesday, March 3, 2009

Royalty House Rules

Hello all! We just buzzed through the Couple's Retreat, and apart from trying to pry Traci off of our hot tub, I think it all went off without a "hitch." (Ha ha, sorry Traci, couldn't resist!) We were delighted to have our friends from PA visiting us! We had a great time, the girls doing our girl things, including Clinique make-overs, and the men doing men things. (We don't have an example of what that included......:) So much fun, that Joel teasingly said as we approached the Inn where we were staying, "Ok I am NOT walking in there with HIM!" So....we got into "Couples" formation and went in! :) Ok so us younger couples did not win the last game, proving that we do not know our Hubby's like we thought we did, (wink wink again Traci!!) but we DID have a blast.......a real blast! Thanks for makin the drive, guys!!!!!

Thought I would give you yet another hilarious glimpse into our home this morning. I was thinking of just how funny our family was when I watched Caleb try desperately to put on a sweater vest a minute ago......3 holes and had no clue what went in which hole!! THAT was a good laugh! Not to mention yesterday when he asked me if I could cut his eyelashes because they get in his eyes! Yes I love my family!

Royalty House Rules

1. When Mom naps, we play the "we are petrified pieces of wood" game. 600 square feet leaves no room for noise when Mom is trying to take a nap.

2. One person talks at the dinner table at a time. We do not believe in speaking in tongues, nor interpreting them.

3. Saying "I don't like this" gets you an extra helping of whatever does not catch your fancy.

4. Telling the truth will get you out of many a pickle, and might get you elected to Congress.

5. What Dad says, Mom says, and vice versa. If we catch you tryin the ole' switch-er-oo, your name is mud man, mud.

6. We do not describe Mom using any animal characteristics.

7. We read "Mom's are Marvelous" every time we find it. Finding it is as follows: We find the book, gather and sit no matter where we are or WHAT we are doing, and read it completely through with no interruptions. So what if Mother's Day is months away.

8. Fun comes after chores. I tried the Mary Poppins adage, "In every element of fun there is a job that must be done.." and yeah that didn't work. So chores aren't fun. Do them then have fun.

9. We do not explain what kind of bugs the pitcher plant eats to help our existence at any time of the day.......nausea is instantaneous.

10. By 3 1/2 you are on your own in the restroom. Toilet paper is cheap. Find it and do whatever works for ya.

11. The questions, "Are we there yet?" "What are we having for dinner?" and "Why do I have to do this?" are tolerable the first 3 times...... after that we take 5 cents from your inheritance each repetition. AND when Mom is getting dressed and putting make-up on after noon, the question "Where are we going, Mom?" can make you disinherited all together.

12. When you hear "So-and-so-is-here!" assume emergency stations. Mom will be tripping on her robe as she flies to her room to dress, while you are left to shove as many things as you can under the couch.....dishes included.

13. You are allowed one or two good hearty laughs at an unexpected bodily function, whether yours or not. After that it is just poor manners.

14. You can hide wherever you like so long as you can unwedge yourself when you need to exit.

15. Every outfit without visible food on it is wearable for a two day stretch, then washed.

16. Laugh often, love much and munch much. Wonderful motto.


  1. Okay, Deena, technically, you just had to pry my EYEBALLS off your hot tub! I restrained from hijacking it from you! And we are SO glad we made the trip as well! Best weekend in a long time!

  2. ROFLOL!!! Ditto on...

    #3 (my in-laws think that is cruel and unusual punishment. Ironically, we usually only have to enforce it when they are around.)

    #4 (This is a big one around here. Josh and I have morphed into human lie detectors.)

    #5(Our children have only tried this once each. Tops.)

    #6 (My kids do not like to see me cry, so this is usually readily obeyed.)

    #8 (We reveiw this one every day several TIMES a day)

    #10 (To this one we have added, if we find #2 anywhere that it doesn't belong, i.e. on the walls, or floor due to insufficient wiping techniques, punishment will be swift and sure provided we can pinpoint the culprit. Otherwise, everyone will participate in scrubbing walls and floors indefinitely.)

    #11 (Disinheritance is imminent if the dinner question is asked during or immediately after the most recent meal)

    #12 (Around here this one goes more like this: Unless, they call to let us know they are five or more minutes away, NO ONE is allowed to answer the door and absolute silence will be strictly enforced.)

    and #15 (except that as long as we aren't planning on going anywhere, the food thing just doesn't really matter).

    BTW ~ I've enjoyed all the posts I missed while I was gone, too, I just didn't have time to comment till now. Thanks for sharing! :)

  3. #10 is true at our house.

    #12 More than once when I'm cleaning the house Lily has asked me who's coming over. I have no idea what would make her think that's the only time i clean??! Maybe because it's usually true! :) I usually hide if someone randomly shows up and I can get away with it! :)

    #15 Laundry has taken over my life...so i have also made the rule...no visible stain....no wash!!

    Thanks for the lovely posts!! :)

  4. Well I sure am glad that others can relate to my house! Thanks for the support!!! :-)

  5. We relate to a lot of these...and thank you for the "In every job that must be done there is an element of fun - you find the fun, and snap! The job's a game. And every task you undertake becomes a piece of cake, a lark, a spree, it's very clear to see that...a..." My wife is sitting here singing it to me so I can type it - if she could, she would be twirling around the living room with an umbrella, but that would make her very, VERY sick - so she just sings it sitting down. (Down, Beka, Down!)

    Thank you for the great post, we laughed and laughed...same goes for our house - we miss you guys bunches!