Unworthy

It's the end of February.

The littles are refusing to wear socks and getting the most out of their Saturday.

Older brothers are bargaining that if we do school today we can have off the whole day Monday and go to the zoo.

Family radio is streaming and jammies can be seen on no one but me.

It is a good day.

Not because it is Saturday, not because we have food in our bellies, not because we all slept well.

It is a good day because God made it, made us, and has a plan for our lives this very day.

I am pondering the life of Jacob this fine day.

There is still laundry to do, ironing to do for church tomorrow, reading to do with the kiddos, but I am stopping and thinking on Jacob for a bit.

What a guy.

A deceiver.

A runaway.

A wrestler with God.

The Bible says that he prevailed.

He being, Jacob. Prevailing against God and begging him for a blessing.


Surely I am not the only one who finds this amazing.

And then after he wins, God asks Jacob what his name is.

He knows but he asks him anyway.

He asks him so he can tell him what is name WAS.  It will forever be changed from here on out.

 Jacob will forever be changed.

Then Jacob, in turn, asks God what HIS name is.

And God only asks him why he is asking.

How often we see something that only HE can do and still ask, "Is that YOU, Lord?"

And He blesses him there.

What a sight. Wrestling with God, wrestling really his whole life with situations, tricking and being taken advantage of....

And we would say that he made his own bed and should lie in it, and write him off.

But God blesses him.

God comes from heaven in bodily form and in my mind's eye I can picture him thinking as he looks down on Jacob, "Alright. You want to fight, you got it."

You've been there.

Wrestling with life.

Somehow thinking that if you wrestled your last bit of strength out you would no longer be frustrated, angry, bitter, tired of those around you.

Tired of being taken, getting out of your own messes.

And in the midst of your miserable God blesses you anyway.

And God sees our brokenness and asks us what our name is.

We tell him all of our inadequacies and he says, "That's not your name anymore."

Hmmm.

He's right. Christ's  brokenness for us changed our standing, our worthiness to God.

And we see, and we are humbled that he would even want to bless us, and we walk with a limp in our spirit the rest of the day.

And Jacob prepares for a hard day.

And says this, "I am not worthy of the least of all the mercies, and of all the truth, which thou hast shewed  unto thy servant;" Gen. 32:10a

And my heart echoes Jacob's.

And the littles prepare for a play....

Good Saturday to you friends.