Friday, September 23, 2011

Hello Blog Friends.....

Hello Blog Friends,
In the big blog world.

Please be advised that the human grossness factor is high in this post.
Just warnin’.

For those with stomachs of iron……… by all means proceed.

Today was an ordinary day, and I was getting my ordinary shower at the ordinary time of 10:30.

No hatin’.

This is because I spend a lot of ordinary time cleaning in my frumpy night gown and Medussa hair.

I do this because I somehow believe deep down that a clean house means well behaved children.
This has never happened.

But I still believe that someday it magically WILL happen and so I continue.

And this cleaning becomes a woman whom you would believe was in the nesting phase of pregnancy, mopping and scrubbing like there is no tomorrow.

And I wonder if I did not get enough of that out during my pregnancies…….or just because of the sheer number of children it never leaves entirely?

These are questions I will never answer.

And so I just keep cleaning.

Until my shower at previous stated time. I say this because even I am too ashamed to acknowledge it again in print!


So, the shower is my think tank.

I can feel world peace in there I tell ya.

I can feed my family on 50 dollars a week if I had to, find way too many ways to hide one chicken breast in casseroles, make my own laundry soap and fuse the previous sliver of soap in the shower to the new sparkling bar, somehow believing that this makes me a good saving person.


BUT, I do NOT save money when it comes to the econo shower.

Nope. And I have never tried.

I figure if I took military showers I could save the difference and actually go to a real spa, but for now home sweet home has become my spa sweet spa.

I think in there. I think in there until I am a prune.

And be sure that two things will snap your inheritance, slim as it may be, clean away:

1.Talking while Mom is trying to roll out a pie crust and get it in the pan…in one piece.


2. Interrupting Mom’s shower unless you are becoming disemboweled.

That’s it. Otherwise I am Mother of the Year.

Well ok now I just lied so that totally takes me out of the running….. I digress.

So, ordinary day, ordinary cleaning spree, ordinary shower.

Then I go to brush my teeth.

And I grab the wrong toothbrush.

I grab someone’s who will remain anonymous, but will tell you that they are of the little sort barely in school.

And apparently they do not have strong feelings regarding rinsing………..anything.

Yeah. No hoorays for me who thought it swell to buy toothbrushes in bulk packs thinking how clever I was to have them match.

Bad idea.

Next to YooHoo drink, possibly the worst decision ever made.

And I literally wondered as I quickly brought the brushing disaster to an end if this was indeed what “Shock and Awe” feels like.

I then realized that I had most likely eaten all of the food that pervious stated child had consumed and had hanging in their teeth from the last week…..

Or several.

And in the midst of my body shuddering the Lord showed me just how foolish I am to take anything of anyone else’s and try to use it for my own.


You KNOW I HAD to check out friend’s homeschooling tips and ideas, and read about what this family does and that one.

ALWAYS to my detriment.

Several months ago I may or may not have mentioned this story so indulge me because I am too lazy to scroll back months to reread my banter. (And I am still queezy enough….. )

I was on facebook. I know, I groan too these days.

SO, I was on and posted about how I had made a couple of loaves of bread.

Now did I write that to seem “All that” and show a glimmer of “Martha Stewartishness”

Well to those questions I plead the Fifth, or the Eighth? Anyhow I plead the First through the Fifth. That should cover me.

And a happy go lucky friend commented.

SHE makes bread too. SHE makes whole grain breads. By hand.
I used the bread machine.

(enter Whistling music from an Old Western gun shoot out scene)

I wrote back.

I grind my own wheat…..

(eyebrows saying, “So there!”)


But the Holy Spirit hit DELETE.

Who cares?


Really? Again I compare myself with someone else?

Why must I be the biggest and brightest star out there?

Now this was a while ago and yet recently I have fallen into the pit of comparison again.

I really should just make a Vacation cottage there I visit so often…..

So and So is using DVD’s to school their children.

So and So is using “Myster y of the Next best thing out there” History curriculum.

So and So had to grab take out because they were too busy finding fossils in the backyard while they were geo cashing and leaf rubbing.

And on it goes.


I am home waiting on visuals to come in that I forgot to order, while my kids do workbook pages and while I try to hide the fact that every time The Sweet Man (Joel) goes over the teaching part with me I have to excuse myself to the restroom because I am so dog gone nervous.

There ya have it.

I DO realize that letting you know what we do may have caused some deep jealousy wanting what we have and for that I am sorry.

(snicker, snicker…)

Trying to be someone else, use someone else’s schedule, fit into their mold for their family is as sickening as using someone else’s cruddy toothbrush.

Use what you have. Go to the bathroom several times while preparing if you must. (that was for me) But know that teaching your children to love the Lord, having a loving atmosphere for your family to live in, your husband to come home to, for visitors to be welcomed, is more important than keeping up with the facebook Jones’.

My kids will not remember their curriculum.

They will remember me.

And several bathroom breaks.

We are not cookie cutter families.

We are individual families, placed with the children God wanted us to disciple, in the place where we can shine the brightest in the world for Him.

Embrace that.

Embrace honey sandwiches because It is close to payday.

Embrace visuals coming late and workbooks and art projects consisting of yarn and glue because you cannot find the crayons.

Embrace dinners of chicken casserole because chicken is all you have left in the freezer.

Just. Live.

If you need me to write you a permission slip just send me a note. I will gladly excuse you from the latest and greatest.

And while we are at it,

Write one for me will ya?


  1. Too funny!:o) But I'm so disappointed that you didn't say you were keeping up with the Facebook "Smiths".:o))) Once again we've been outdone by those Jones people! Who are they anyway!? Thanks for the great reminder to live the life God gave us without worrying about everyone else.

  2. i have been laughing so hard. i can just see you telling this story. it's as good as an afternoon visit together. thanks for always writing such, just what you need, right where you live, truths.

  3. Isn't that the truth. "I, Kari, hereby give you permission to check out." I feel the same way when my mind begins to check out--and it's not even lunch! Thanks for the reminder...God's Word always puts things in perspective. :)

  4. Once again, I have thoroughly enjoyed your post! I just told Eric this morning that I am just going to do what I can do and learn to except that instead of always trying to feel like things have to be just so! I want my children to remember their childhood as a wonderful one and their home as a haven!

    As for the schooling, you gotta do what you can do! I do the DVD's because I know that my children would end up uneducated if I had to do it on my own! I have to hand it to you and Joel! You are amazing and I love you dearly!!

  5. Ah, Deena, I love you. Your posts are always so poignant, and well, needed. You speak the truth. Thank you.