Wednesday, December 16, 2009

Have Yourself and Merry Little Meltdown....

Yes it's THAT time of year again folks.

When you hear shouts like, "I'm gonna suff-a-kate you!" coming from behind closed doors and yet you do absolutely nothing about it.

You see way back yonder in November you decided, quite vehemently I might add.... that you would NOT fall prey to the Holiday financial fiasco.

Nay....... you sat and sipped your Pumpkin Spice Latte while visions of girls matching cranberry corduroy dresses danced in your head. You were going to have a "Homespun" Christmas this year you retorted. We have taken out Santa, but we will add SO.MUCH.FAMILY-NESS that the children will smile at Wal mart when confronted with the question, "What is Santa bringing you this year?" and say, "Santa??? Santa who?" and then proceed to pontificate how THEY have kept CHRIST in Christmas this year. Christmas is in their heart, and they celebrate it all year long. They will then burst into some somber Christmas carol amidst falling prey to workers begging, "What must I do to be saved???"

And then after you spend way more in Jo-Ann fabrics than you would if you had bought the silly plastic toys, after you care for sick kiddos day in and day out, miss one too many date nights, serve spaghetti again for yet another dinner, realize that you do NOT have any more black thread because someone conveniently vacuumed it ALL UP and thoughtfully left you the spool,

You realize that the plans you once had are now like the froth on the top of that latte............FULL.OF.FLUFF.

You turn into someone you do not even recognize and check your licence one, two, three times a day to just make sure it does not read: Martha Stewart.

You pour over the sewing machine, wiping the tears off of it every so often, try to convince your 2 year old that we will sing when it is Jesus' birthday and not anytime before then. Singing happy birthday to Him now only reminds you of how many fewer days there are to get a LOT.OF.THINGS done. You sometimes find yourself in some have comatose state singing old familiar Christmas carols yet substituting the words with words like, "Fray check," and "seam ripper."

You spend countless hours sweeping the house to find that Jo-Ann 20% off coupon that you KNOW you JUST HAD like the woman in the Bible, and find that the house fills itself with more "demons" in the form of craft projects that you stuffed under the bed that you forgot you wanted so badly to do with the kids. You peek to the left and right. No kids watching. You then proceed to SHOVE them BACK under the bed. You sigh, you smile. In fact besides that pint of cookies and cream ice cream a night or two ago you have not felt this good IN WEEKS.

You tell yourself that you are going to get up earlier, stay up later. UTILIZE This time. You lie. You spend the evening in bed early covered in magazines with titles like, "The Bible Cure for Anxiety," and mumble something about homemade granola to your Husband. You wish you had "Just a minute," tattooed on your forehead which is presently now sporting another gray hair.

You become...........


Your sweet husband trying to add some humor to your life cuts the boys hair in a Mohawk and leaves it like that just for a few moments so you can see it and laugh. You don't. There is nary a bit of humor left in you.......

Or is there? :)

Date night is tomorrow. Hope is on the horizon. We could all convert to Judaism just to give us Hanukkah which would, in turn, allow us to just spread Christmas all the way until January 5th.

Or not.

Merry Meltdown to all and to all...... a good night.


  1. Deena - you are AWESOME! You make me laugh. I love to read all of your wonderful writing. My Christmas wish would be to have a Pumpkin Spice Latte with you (but I like mine with no shots and 2 extra pumps :))and we could chat in person! Wouldn't that be great??!! Maybe some day.... Until then keep being you, because you are great. Hope you all have a wonderful Christmas!

  2. Sharon! LOL LOL Well what you don't know is that I get 1/2 a decaf shot, and 4 pumps!!!!! Would just l-o-v-e to see you and chat in person!! Love to you and Merry Christmas to you, Scott and the kiddos!