Monday, November 14, 2011

Grape jam hilariousness....

I am a fan of jam.

Always have been, always have been.

Jam and bread of some kind or fashion deserve each other.

Like Barak and Michele……only in a good way.

Nothing says, “Hello Day,” like toast with jam and tea.

I know, I’m not even English.

And I like jam so much that I have come to cringe and such expressions as, “Boy I am really in a jam,” and it is “Jam packed.”

However being in jam does sound lovely and sometimes you would think that my two year old swam in it after our ritual lunch of pbj.

And my jam jars are pretty packed so as to not waste jam or space for that matter.

I have not been offended by the phrase, “You got yourself in a real pickle,” YET, though the more I enjoy the bread and butter ones we canned a few months ago, I am getting a little unfond of it.

And red squiggle I personally think that “unfond” should be a word.

Yeah, it’s been a while since I have gotten out of the house, but stick with me and you’ll get a good laugh somewhere in here I promise!

So with all these things in mind, we fast forward to family devotions.

Good times.

The kids gathered round Joel and I, Joel going through the Old Testament, reading names like, “Dodo” and “Puah . “

Uh, yeah that’s in there….. go see for yourself.

And I am supposed to listen with the clan and NOT laugh.


So….. on we go through Judges and we land on Sampson tonight.

And just as my tired mind was beginning to wander off to my shopping list…… hey at least I am truthful!

My ear caught something about the regulations put before Sampson’s Mom and Dad.

Apparently at our house Sampson was not to eat any fruit of the vine.

And that might possibly be the way the story goes at YOUR house with YOUR kids, but wait! There’s more….

Dear husband who worked an 11 hour shift is getting weary and as he describes to the wee ones what the “fruit of the vine” entails he slips something in there that erupted spontaneous internal laughs from someone who will remain anonymous who just may be typing this….

He said, “The fruit of the vine was grape juice, wine and…… grape jelly.”

Ok even now I just die laughing………..

My eyebrows raised, my dimples shone and the giggles were as stifled as they can possibly be.


Poor Sampson.

Whatever did his Mom pack in his school lunches anyhow???

No wonder he rebelled and gave away his secrets…… I mean a man can only go so long with out a crustless pbj with crunchy peanut butter and grape jelly.

And the even funnier thing is that the kids actually looked like they felt sorry for him, as if he had to abide by rules that they themselves could never follow…. LOL

And I will say that the grape jelly touch added such twenty first century-ness to the Old Testament.

And we prayed and brushed teeth and sent the troops to bed and I turned to sweet exhausted hubby and smiled,

“Grape jelly, huh?”

And he gave me the, don’t even go there smile and we all turned in for the night.

But you can be sure that Hubby’s lunch will NOT contain something tomorrow.

Yep. Grape jelly.

Instead there will be a note telling him that today we will abide by Sampson’s nazarite vow.

Today there will be no grape jelly, no grape juice and certainly no grape wine.

Today there will be strawberry jam.


  1. :) :) O I laughed so hard reading this!! Miss you all!

  2. Thanks for the great laugh! It was just what I needed! :-)