Friday, August 5, 2011

Mid-Summer Memories

Hello you lovely folks, you.

It is August already and I am enjoying some much needed quietness at the local library which has almost turned back the hands of the clock and stopped in years past, when men ran libraries with full suits on, card catalogs still gathered dust, and air conditioning rattled false ceiling.

And I am thinking about this wonderful life that has ebbed and flowed for us this Summer.

Abby got new glasses. Seeing her fiddle with them reminds me of 4th grade, and wishing for glasses and braces so I could fit in. I wish and pray for her to love however God alters her eyes, teeth, hair and height. Just love her and her scars from stitches from falling out of trees.

Just like I did when I was her age.

Lately the Lord has seen fit to bring me through a period of rest. I am back to testing for various and sundry things that make my heart skip, my energy just out of grasp, and my mind fuzzy.

I have been through this a few times and each time I am an emotional wreck.

Except for this time.

This time I am resting in Him who knows the end from the beginning. I am praying over appointments, over stressful situations, over dishes for strength and at bedtime for sleep.

God is more than enough for me.

For you too.

I am sitting next to the magazine section where various titles jump out at me regarding what was innocent turned cancer. I used to shy from even seeing the word. Who wouldn't?

But I am realizing that God is here with me.

In me.

He alone gives us the strength we need for each day. I am letting Him guide me with His eye.

Yesterday I was feeling particularly miserable in body and spirit and I decided to enjoy the kids.

Yes, I decided.

I picked beans with them, and as one son commented on how he needed to grab this weed he found from the root or it would only grow back, I had the great privilege to also remind him that the soil of our hearts can become filled with weeds that needed a good pulling.

From the root.

We sweat, pick and I take them to the porch where I sit and snap beans and watch them put on a play for me in the front yard. The cars look on as they pass by, some older folks, some young.

And for a second it hits me that they might see me snapping beans and the kids frolicking and want to stop a while and enjoy this wonderful life with me.

It has been a while since I have enjoyed children……… my children.

The workers at the bank, the store, the library, tell them how lovely they are.

Do I tell them too?

I laugh at the myriad of funny faces they are giving me. They interview each other with a paintbrush, asking one another what makes a good family.

I smile.

Have I shown them?

Am I showing them?


Joel told me the other day that corn is one of the only plants that he knows of that doesn't droop when it needs water.

I look at him puzzled.

"It points up when it needs rain."

It felt like he, not even meaning to, saw into my heart in the midst of drought.

I turned so he wouldn't see the tear falling and whispered into the car window,

"It knows where it's help comes from."

The Lord Himself answered,

"YES."

My mind just swirled.

The sparrow, the lily of the field,

the.... corn?

All of them fret not, nor toil, nor spin.

Their heavenly father knows what they need.

He knows we need a good soft rain.

He knows I need a good soft rain.

And He reminds me to look up.

Look up.

And so I begin to take my eyes off of the unknown and worrisome now, and look up.

We put the kids in a tent in the yard and roast marshmallows.

De-lish.

I shouldn't.

But I do.

And I eat and let the marshmallow kids kiss my cheek and we laugh as our daughter keeps losing hers to the fire and we just keep laughing until it is time to go to sleep.

We sit out by the fire and comfort son who keeps poking his nose out because of fear.

So much like me.

We answer the "What if's."

I think of God.

And how much more patient He is with me, than I am with my son, who is so like me.

We sit and decide to watch for falling stars.

Joel has seen so many in his life already.

He is accustomed to looking up.

I am not.

I have never seen one.

And then almost taking my breath away it happens.

It jets across the sky!

I am in awe.

This is commonplace to Joel.

This is life altering to me.

I thank God and clap my hands together. I think of Job, who in great affliction and trial hears God tell him of his greatness and all that He created, reminding him that He can be trusted again and again.

We map out the constellations and enjoy life. Together.

I look at my sweet husband, all loving and patient, look at my tent of kids and at a star filled night and my heart is full.

I will decide to stop looking for answers.

I will keep looking up.

Sweet Mid Summer's to you all!

5 comments:

  1. This was such a blessing to my heart! Thank you for sharing your trials and fears. The corn is such a wonderful reminder to look up. You've given me much to think about.:o)

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  2. Thank you for sharing your many blessings, as well as your heart. I'm fascinated by this idea of "preparing for rain." Whenever God does choose to shower us with His love and grace, it is so much better when we have 'prepared the ground of our heart.' Always good to read your blog and gain an element of 'refocus.' Thanks again!

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  3. MUITO BOM! Eu acredito que Deus criou o homem e deixou o manual de instrução, a “BÍBLIA SAGRADA!” A bíblia é a divina revelação da palavra de Deus e não produtos enlatados, eu costumo dizer que: “As pessoas precisam parar de comer tudo o que dão. E começar a questionar! ” Alguém escuta alguma coisa de alguém, e saem falando, sem questionar, sem saber se é verdade ou não. As pessoas precisam se perguntar! Será que a minha crença esta de acordo com a lei de Deus? Será que a religião que eu nasci sempre me falou a verdade? Quando uma pessoa morre pra onde ela vai? Ela volta? A bíblia apóia o homossexualismo? Quem não herdara o reino de Deus? O que devo saber sobre idolatria, imagens e escultura? O que devo saber sobre o único batismo? Será que tem uma seqüência para salvação? A quem eu devo me confessar, quem pode me perdoar? Religião salva alguém? Essas e outras perguntas e respostas em:
    www.aunicaverdadeemsuapropriabiblia.blogspot.com
    Você pode dizer, eu já sou salvo amém! Vamos atrás de quem não esta, “Se você quer se dar bem com o mundo seja hipócrita, mas se você quer se dar bem com Deu seja verdadeiro!” divulgue este site, porque: “Eis que vêm dias, diz o Senhor Jeová, em que enviarei fome sobre a terra, não fome de pão, nem sede de água, mas de ouvir as palavras do Senhor. E irão vagabundos de um mar até outro mar, e do norte até ao oriente; correrão por toda parte, buscando a palavra do Senhor, e não a acharão." ( Amós cap 8 ver 11 e 12 )Fale para outras pessoas, por que “O Senhor não retarda a sua promessa, ainda que alguns têm por tardia: mas é longânimo para convosco, não querendo que alguns se percam, senão que todos venham a arrepender-se.” (II Pedro cap. 3 ver 8) e “Que quer que todos os homens se salvem, e venham ao conhecimento da verdade. Porque há um só Deus, e um só Mediador entre Deus e os homens, Jesus Cristo o homem. (I A Timóteo cap 2 ver 5 e 6)
    Seja sua bíblia, católica ou evangélica, aqui você vai tirar suas duvidas.
    www.aunicaverdadeemsuapropriabiblia.blogspot.com
    E conhecereis a verdade, e a verdade vos libertara (João cap 8 ver 32) Se você tiver coragem de perguntar, a bíblia terá coragem de responder! Tradutor de mais idiomas

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  4. Praying for you!! Thank you for your consistent reminder that God is good, that He loves us when we fail, that He's proud when we succeed, that He's waiting to be a part of our lives with us. Love you Deena-bo-Beena!
    Becky

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  5. Deena, I just love you to death! You write in a way that makes me feel as though I am there with you, experiencing your joy, your pain, etc... Thank you for your wonderful blogs and for the lessons you have for me in each of them!

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